Will you just shut up!

Everything I do is an astounding success. When I walk, I make the earth spin smoother. When I dance, I make the sky light up. If I were to take out a loan, the bank would pay me to hold on to it. Seven of my ten fingers have rings and six of my seven rings have emeralds. I eat an entire cow for breakfast and I drink an entire Dr. Pepper in 3 seconds. Women don't notice me when they walk by, but they do immediately realize that they let something amazing get away. I wish upon stars at night. The stars wish right back. If I had a third arm, I would have three elbows. My mind is a mess of thought that just doesn't stay straight. Everyone I know wants to shake my hand...